to wri or not to wri?

...and I'm sure you're all thinking, "What?!"

"Wri" is actually part of an acronym called "NaNoWriMo", or National Novel Writing Month. So basically, I'm asking, "Should I write?...Or should I not write?"

I did this in 2010. And better yet, I completed the task of writing a 50,000-word novel in those 30 tension-filled days. It was challenging, time-consuming, tiresome. Those last few days I spent late nights writing my novel at home, and then I remember completing it at work in the middle of the day. And since no one knew what I was doing (because I had only been here at the Reporter for two months), I celebrated in solitude.

But knowing me, I probably posted it to Facebook & Twitter too.

The only hard copy of my book, moments after I got it!

"Second Best" proved to be an outlet for me. It allowed me to dive into a new rediscovered love of writing, something I had abandoned in my college years and the year after. It also helped me to exert my energy on something else, after the past year of my life hadn't gone the way I had planned it (keyword: I, because I hadn't been truly focused on Jesus and what He wanted).

But beyond that, I fully believe that writing the novel helped me heal from the (semi) self-inflicted pain and eventual rejection that I went through. When asked, I always told others that the book was loosely based on my life and the tales of a college student. My book was a way to really examine "what might have been" or "what could have been", or simply a way to fictionalize on paper my deepest desires.

And in 2013, I'm in a completely different season of life. I still love writing, and I feel like my craft has evolved to include more types of written works. I'm still here at the Reporter & I'm at least aware of who works with me now. And I no longer wallow in that particular heartbreak; I now (attempt) to bring all those feelings and concerns on relationships and marriage to the Father and read up as much as I can on them.

The beauty of NaNoWriMo is that I can sit in front of the computer on Friday and have no idea what I'm going to write about. The story can form as my fingers meet the keyboard and three years later, I now know that I'm not going to type out the perfect story that could be submitted to a publisher and distributed across the globe (though I would LOVE to do that!). That's what the month of December and thereafter are for, which leads me to the whole reason NOT to write.

Editing, round one.

I wrote "Second Best", and I really wanted to get it published. For some strange reason, Facebook friends were eager to read what I had written (it still boggles my mind) and the means to publish either as a paperback or e-book were available. But I came to learn that editing is a PROCESS--an arduous task that isn't for the faint of heart. It's such a chore that I, the part-time writer with hardly any money, would have been willing to pay someone to edit for me.

And then, my computer died.

Whether it was the technological death of the project or perhaps God closing the door on my novel-writing, I'm still trying to figure it out. I've always wanted my writing to be "Nicholas Sparks meets Tyler Perry"... you know, "love story meets Jesus themes", and I adopted Sparks' mantra that he would never publish anything that he would be uncomfortable with his grandmother [older authority] reading (which, as much as I LOVE Nick, some of those scenes are a bit shady...). I wanted my stories to honor God, so based on some of the things he wrote--I couldn't really mimic Nicholas' writing style.

On the other hand, I couldn't really write a "love story"--although I could conjure up some true imagination, I don't have the know how, the personal experience to pull from. If I strictly wrote on experience, you guys would be reading a BUNCH of books on a socially-awkward Mexican girl who gets rejected, or is just way too scared to make any kind of move, or sits completely still waiting for God to work (even though He wants us to make an effort). It could be a fun series, but it would probably get boring REAL quick.

And it might sound like a bunch of excuses rolled into one...but I've become a much busier person in the past three years, especially in the past three months. Looking at my calendar, my Sundays are busy teaching (which means weekly prep), I have my two work meetings to cover in the evenings, I'm helping to host a wedding shower, I'm singing at a wedding, I'm going to a concert, we have ladies' fellowship at church...and then there's my FAVORITE holiday with the travel and prep that goes along with Thanksgiving. It makes me ask myself, "Would I really have time to devote to NaNo?"

I don't know. That's where you come in. I admit to being easily influenced by others, so I want to ask you. And whether I do it or not, don't get mad at me. At least you'll have my blogs to look forward to.

So, "to 'wri' or not to 'wri'? THAT is the question."