The Bible can actually back me up on this. Even at my best, Isaiah says that at our absolute best, we're just like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). And in the midst of this week, Jesus has come to show me that in my perfectionistic pursuit of "career" success, nothing is about me.
It's all about Him.
This lesson has been forming for some time. At the end of last month, I was approached to do a feature story on a community member who has done so much, but a community member who is battling disease and can no longer perform the job he loves. I'm still very appreciative to those who helped me with the story by sending information, photos and quotes, as the story couldn't have been done without them.
As I read the notes and quotes sent my way, I learned a lot about this man. Professionally, he made quite the impact in local healthcare. Among his peers he volunteered with sports and served as a school board member. But as those he impacted shared their thoughts, a central theme was recurring. He served, but at the end of the day he realized his service was to the Lord.
My heart broke for this man and his family as I wrote, as I prayed for peace, comfort and strength for all of them. But what tugged at my heartstrings even more was what his sons had to say about him. For as much as he did for others, he did that much more for his family. And while he served all of them, his sons recognized that he served the Lord through people and strived to live close to Christ.
To me, that is an astounding legacy. We hear it all the time in churches and on Facebook--"it's not about me, it's about Him." By Sunday when the story debuted, I really thought I had let the notion in, fully comprehended it and had applied it to my life. But we all know--just like the youth pastor taught in Sunday school last week--that when we start following Christ, Satan will use things to distract or make us stumble.
Case in point, proven twice this week.
Communication is something I strive for. I want others to be informed just as much, if not better than I am, and when it's somewhat important, I want to be able to discuss it and have open communication. Sadly, this hasn't been the case this week, and to be candid, it angers me in many perspectives.
I was able to vent about the first instance, and I thought I did okay...I felt that my emotions, while intense, hadn't been sinful. But in today's instance, I let my emotions get the best of me. In my continued attempt to be positive on Facebook, my status was a "prayer" about these situations. But I put myself in a place to go beyond venting, and now I realize that it was a slip-up, it was sin, and didn't bring God the glory He deserves.
I was trying to get over it, but I had to get some work done regarding the latter instance. And just as quick as I was to bring this darned thing up again--to let the person know it wasn't me who messed up--I was boldly reminded in the tearful words of a woman who is remembering a date that no parent would want to remember...that this job, the communication, this life is not about me.
While I'm worried about being the best employee, there are others who are hurting, dealing with things people should never have to endure, but God saw fit to bring it into their lives. Physical ailments, emotional decisions, whatever...but my pity party pales in comparison. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--if the biggest thing I have to deal with right now is a lack of communication, either God doesn't find me strong enough to deal with huge trials (I'm not saying I want those trials) or He has simply found favor with me and is blessing me with protection from such things.
Since this verse came to mind, I'll close with this--a reminder of daily surrender that I hope He continues to teach me.
"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." -- Luke 9:23 (KJV)
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