A fangirl in the desert

So I just realized that I haven't blogged since my #monumentalsummer post. 

But, my goal starting now leading up to my birthday is to write about the big...monumental...moments of this summer. The things I loved, participated in, and learned from. I also hadn't written a column for the newspaper for some time, and when "a fan" of mine asked my mom if I was still writing (shout out to Mr. Hayes!) I knew that this event warranted a column.

So sit back, relax and enjoy this. I hope you will.

P.S. This is actually the unabridged version. The shorter version will appear in Wednesday's (today's!) print edition of the Sweetwater Reporter. So buy a copy. Please :)

(and stay tuned to my other #monumentalsummer posts in the next two weeks!)

A fangirl in the desert

"So what's a fangirl?" I believe some of you are wondering.

I actually Googled it. Since a "fanboy" is a person obsessed with a single subject or hobby, let's just turn it around and make it gender-specific.

I found myself in the hot Midland sun last Thursday at Rock the Desert--the three-day Christian music festival, celebrating my friend Amy's 21st birthday. Her favorite band is the Christian rock group Skillet, and with this knowledge her two brothers found out they were playing nearby--on her birthday, no less--and bought tickets. But before her youngest brother Andrew moved away, he approached me to ask if I wanted to buy his ticket.

Are you kidding me?

This was like my Passion trip all over again. Could I attain yet another LifeGoal, in the same year? YES. The purchase of my ticket ended up being my birthday present from my mother, and I waited with anticipation.

This trip was actually meant to be a surprise to Amy. She knew she was going somewhere for her birthday, but only figured it out three days before when her brother Eric and I couldn't keep a straight face when she heard about Rock the Desert on the radio. Unfortunately, I had to keep lying to her that we weren't going, but she excitedly proclaimed to the Facebook world the next day that she figured out where was going for her birthday.

The birthday girl, Amy!

Eric managed to keep another secret for her birthday celebration, until we arrived and he confessed that we had VIP seating for the We As Human (another Christian rock band) set. They tried to get VIP seating for Skillet, but it was already sold out.

We ventured west early Thursday morning and arrived to the venue. Two hours early. Which, although the heat was already excruciating, worked out as we were the second group in line. We waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally, our tickets were getting scanned and our coolers were being checked. But we still waited some more. And finally, the gates opened and we made our way to the lawn.

Like I said, it was HOT. Once we settled ourselves and our lawn chairs, we ate and then the sets began. Admittedly, the first set only impressed me when one of the lead singers headed to the keyboard and banged out "Linus and Lucy" (the "Peanuts" theme song). I even Facebooked about it. That's how much I loved it.

In the midst of the heat (which allowed me to maintain my summer camp tan), I listened to Jason Castro. You know, the guy who was on American Idol and had these awesome dreads. He's since shed the dreads, but his voice is still just as amazing. He closed his set with his rendition of "Hallelujah", which was still just as haunting as when I first heard it on TV.

This next set, however, was when we finally headed up to the VIP seating for We As Human. I have to admit, I knew NOTHING about this band. As the three of us walked up to the area, we had a seat and I looked down to the crowd below me.

And instantly, I felt kind of bad.

I had a tinge of guilt because I had no knowledge of this band, and just by looking at some of the people in the crowd, you knew that this was their moment. It was their dream to watch this band play and they were toward the back of the crowd--not at the front and not in the VIP seating. My guilt slowly waned as this concert began, and as I started listening to the music, I found myself enjoying it. It was high-energy, exciting. And at one point--it was scary, when lead singer Justin Cordle climbed up and was singing toward the top of the stage. I was definitely nervous, but he made it back down safely, thankfully.

Justin Cordle climbing!
hashtag: nervous

Amy and I decided to get their autographs after the concert, so we waited in line with our tickets (because we had nothing else for them to sign) and made our way through. I don't really remember much, but that the lead singer was in the middle of the table as we passed our tickets down to be signed. Amy shared a personal story with Justin and also told him it was her birthday, which led to a hug (she was pretty excited!).

I'm pretty much always a nerd, because I feel like I always have this nervous-slash-excited look on my face. So when I got to Justin, I said "Hi!" like a seventh grader at the middle school dance. He asked me what my name was and I told him...in which he told me that I had a beautiful name.

Cue the fangirling.

"Thank you!" I said as giddy as ever. "I really enjoyed your show!"

I got the last two band members' autographs, but I'm not gonna lie. I was pretty hyped on that "beautiful name" comment. Amy and I were just about to settle down for a minute when it was announced that John Cooper, the lead singer of Skillet, was going to sign autographs. We rushed to the line and stood there waiting, anxiously, because at 6 p.m., John was doing a Q&A. As we stood in the line, a small commotion began. "He's taking selfies," this one girl came and told her friends behind us. Technically, it wasn't selfies but there was a man up front taking the photos. My phone had just died, and I was a little heartbroken. Thankfully, Eric had already been in line and he let us use his phone.

Meeting John Cooper!!

I didn't even have anything for John Cooper to autograph, and I don't even remember what I said--if I introduced myself or anything. I'm guessing I said hi and took the picture with him. I remember saying thank you, then waiting for Amy to take her picture. She pulled up the photos and I was on Cloud Nine. It was one of those pictures where you actually look good and you want to stare at it for twenty minutes because you're in awe of what a great picture it is. Amy sent it to my dead phone, where it eventually  made its way to her Facebook.

Moments later, John was doing his Q&A, and the three of us were in the crowd. Again, I don't really recall much about it because the atmosphere and momentum of meeting these famous people was taking over. Once it was over, we grabbed a quick bite, listened to the guest speaker, and made our way to the front for Disciple to take the main stage.

As always, I didn't know anything about this band or their music. I still had that guilty feeling of standing at the front of the concert because I was sure that there were people around me who would have loved this opportunity, but some girl with her green backpack was in the way. A girl who, without thinking, failed to put any extra water bottles in there as she stood in the 100+ degree heat.

But Disciple was a great band. Their music was awesome. The lead singer talked about sharing the Gospel. They even came back after we in the crowd chanted "One more song!" and met our demand. But as the energy died for a bit once Disciple left the stage, so did the energy within me. I was hot, tired, dirty and gross, and was extremely thirsty. My Gatorade only went so far, and I found myself worn.

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus took the stage, and outside of their two acoustic songs (one of which was called "Guardian Angel" that the lead singer brought his girlfriend on stage to sing with him, which I found to be very cute), at this point I was just waiting for Skillet to perform. The wait almost became unbearable when yet another act I wasn't aware of took the stage--who was a fourteen-year-old who managed to combine Justin Bieber and Backstreet Boys into his set. Right as he got off stage and we waited for Skillet to start, I looked over at Amy and said, "I'm gonna try to make it a couple of songs, but if I can't, I've gotta head back and have a seat. My feet are killing me."

They were, indeed. But as I thought about it, I realized several things. One, there were WAY too many people around me and I was basically stuck in the crowd. Two, if I totally immerse myself into the music, I might be able to keep up and hang on. And three, if I went back, I know myself all too well. I would have ended up in my lawn chair, regretting that I left and wanting to be in the midst of the crowd. I decided to stay the course and stand...unlike the seventeen year old kid who basically sat down to where people were questioning if something was wrong with him.

"His feet just hurt!" this one girl yelled to the crowd in a disappointed and almost annoyed fashion.

Finally...it was time. A cellist and violinist took the stage and played a glorious intro, donned in white and playing their hearts out. Thereafter, Skillet came out and the crowd went wild. I too was excited (I had actually heard some of their songs while hanging out with Amy, so I kind of knew about them!)--especially over the fact that their drummer was a girl. And, the guitarist--who happened to be John Cooper's wife--had this awesome streak of pink in her pixie-cut hair. Hashtag girl power.

There I was, headbanging and rocking out. I saw one kid's phone right before the concert and at around 10:30, it was 101 degrees. But the energy was vibrant, the atmosphere was intense and honestly, the Holy Spirit was there. John Cooper gave this awesome speech halfway through the concert about Jesus and prayed over the crowd for anyone going through hardships. Yeah, it was hot and I was tired and somehow my feet didn't seem to hurt as bad, but when the Spirit takes over and the love of music overwhelms you, nothing else matters.

The concert ended around midnight. We walked all the way back to the car and waited for about 30 minutes for parking to clear out and leave the venue. Thank goodness, I was able to charge my phone in the car and bring it back to life, where surprisingly all of these Facebook notifications and texts were popping up (this never happens). We drove back to Sweetwater and by 2:30 on Friday morning, I was back home and trying to get as much sleep before six a.m. came across my phone screen to make my way to work.

I had a great time. It was fun. I interacted with famous people. I jammed out to fantastic music. I was able to scratch another LifeGoal off the list. And believe it or not, I actually learned something.

During the We As Human and Skillet sets, I started considering myself as a poser. There I was, sitting in the VIP section or standing at the front of the crowd, and I didn't feel as if I belonged. Like I was putting up a front as this mega-Christian rock fan. But I wasn't.

Isn't that sometimes how we as Christians are?

We wear the Jesus Saves t-shirts or the WWJD bracelets (I know, I'm dating myself) and we go to church when the doors are open, but it's all a show. We don't really know His word or who He is--just on the surface. And we let people think we're tight with Jesus or come off that way, when the only one we're deceiving is ourselves. Because God knows our hearts. He knows how "close" we are to Him (which, we'll never attain that true closeness until we meet Him in Heaven).

I'm definitely preaching to the choir on this one; I'm basically pointing at myself and the conviction is coming pretty hard. And maybe that's what this concert in the heat and the middle of nowhere was supposed to teach me. Be authentic. Be genuine. Be a true Christ-follower in word and deed and not just on the surface, but have a deeply rooted relationship with Him.

Let's be fanboys and fangirls for Jesus.