the love(s) in my life.

I had it all planned out in the first part of the year. Since I was looking at year 26 of riding solo for Valentine's Day, I was going to write an awesome blog.

In fact, I wrote two of them...because I hadn't decided which one would be better.

One was going to be hilarious--a look as to how, if you did what I've done in my life, you could stay single when every Valentine's rolled around--while the other was a bit more serious. But the more I thought about it, the more I wasn't feeling it.

Then my life plans had changed, and all of a sudden, I was going to have a Valentine this year.

What? 

How? 

Is this real life? 

Yes!

It's going to be JESUS, because my plan is to spend Valentine's weekend in Houston at the Passion conference in an effort to meet with the Father and cross off an item from my bucket list. Excited? Beyond it. But really comprehending it? I don't think so. I've been saying that Jesus is going to be my Valentine so much that I just accept it, but I haven't fully embraced it. I'm sad to say that part of me is using Him as a means to fill the selfish void of not having someone to share this holiday with.

But in the past couple of weeks, I've been convicted. I don't need a guy to fill that void, to give me the attention, the flowers, the candy (or in my case, a steak), the sweet words and all that jazz. I want it. I've said it before and I'll say it again--I fully believe it's a God-given desire. But I still question the timing for this beautiful blessing (when or if it's going to happen), and then God gave me a look into the bigger picture--the fact that when I pan out of the narrow view of my own personal lens...there's so much love and friendship and appreciation and joy in my life that God has seen fit to use a whole bunch of people and things to give me love.

Like random, hilarious texts from my brother that I read at work and literally LOL.

Shopping with my mom and watching movies during the weekend that make you laugh and cry.

A brother and sister (in-law) who lets me tag along with their church group, so that I can fulfill part of my LifeGoal list.

Surprise birthday parties.

A great editor-boss who I consider a great friend.

An awesome job with flexibility and creative freedom.

The opportunity to be used by God and make an impact in the lives of teenagers.

Making music. Especially when a collaboration seems to work out so great.

Late night talks with my best friend, who I'm sure probably laughs and rolls her eyes so much at my seventh-grade mentality.

An uncle who calls me all the time and has been there for me like my own dad.

A wonderfully, loving church family who has given me a chance to grow and mature as a person and in the Lord.

A little hug and smile from the kiddos at church that warms my heart.

Social media (I know, that sounds kind of dumb, but really, y'all know I love it.)

Writing. Saying that I used my talent to write a book that will probably never get published but at least I can honestly say, "I've written a book before."

Music in general. The songs that make you wanna dance, cry from heartbreak, or long for love.

...and the list could go on, and on, and on.

So maybe you're like me, and you don't have "anybody" (i.e., a person to give you things and undivided attention) on Valentine's Day. Maybe it's your first year ever, or the first year in some time, or it's become such a trend that you've lost count on how many years. Can I just encourage you...there's so much love around you, around me, that a holiday like this tends to hide it from our eyes. It blinds us from the reality that we are loved in a multitude of ways...by friends, family, fun things, and most importantly, the Father.

Happy Valentine's Day, friends. I wish you nothing but the best.