TBH (or, 'to be honest', for those not familiar with that acronym)

I'm tired.

My body is drained from back-to-back Sundays of all-out ministry at church (which, don't get me wrong--I loved every minute of it), with unusually early morning wake up calls sandwiched in between them. Obviously, I don't know how to plan.

My eyes hurt. I'm not sure if it's from the dreaded wind and allergies that never seemed to affect me before, or from that out-of-character crying in the midst of an intimate heart-to-heart with a loved one, or the tears I'm trying to keep within me as to not let my emotions get the best of me.

And speaking of that, my emotions are a wreck. I came to realize that I hate my women's intuition, especially when it finally and blatantly shows you the whole, unadulterated picture of your life and makes you realize that what you assumed all along is the truth.

And because of said emotions, I'm kind of just on auto-pilot. I made the worse decision this morning when I pulled my workday snack out of the refrigerator, but thank God I showed some restraint and didn't eat all of the half-loaf of French bread that came to work with me.

Combine all this with the fact that Jesus is pruning me and teaching me and has brought to my attention that I love/care for others in a conditional manner, and I'm spent.

(Serious moment: if you know or can show me in Scripture how I can begin to love others in an unconditional manner so that I can radiate Christ in my life in this area, comment on this blog, message me on Facebook, text me, send me a DM on Twitter...ANYTHING.)

I look at all this--this insanity that I call my life--and I realize that there are others (several people come to mind) that are dealing with so much more, something more intense than I am, and it sickens me that I'm having a pity party about something so petty.

Can't I move on and find some other focal point, instead of me?

Can't I look beyond what I don't have and dwell on the things I do have?

Can't I just sit at the Master's feet and let Him teach me what He wants?

...yes, I can.

Within ourselves, we are so selfish, so discontent, so needy. But within Jesus, we can become selfless, satisfied, spiritually wealthy. Maybe today's hiccup in my little world is meant to be a teaching moment, but not just for me. I hope that when you and I have days like this, we can be honest, candid and run to the arms of Jesus. Yes, what lies ahead can be scary (and my fearful struggle is just beginning) but that fear doesn't come from Him.

He gives us love, power, and a sound mind.