loved.

Hello all!

I realized just now that it had been almost a month since my last post, which led me to the next realization that that amount of time was just too long to go without blogging. ...Apologies.

This weekend, I literally tore up my bedroom. Like, it's still a pretty rough-looking mess. I was looking for a college "relic" of sorts, which had me opening over 10 boxes and totes full of college books, lecture notes, letters and decorations.

Sadly, I didn't find what I was looking for. But in the middle of looking through everything, my heart was just overjoyed. It made me miss the days of BBC--the random and fun times in the dorms, the most absurd things we were presented (please, see this), and a most remarkable truth.

in those days, i was loved.

I don't say that to say that I'm not loved now...I have amazingly loving people in my life right now, and I fully believe that all the people who wrote me letters and gave me cards and showered me with gifts--they cherish the memories that are behind those tokens of appreciation and, for the most part, still love me today. But as I read the cards from my family members, church members from Sweetwater and Springfield, girls on my floor in the dorms, and random notes from the Professional Secret Letter-Writing Association (to this day, I still don't know who did that)--among a multitude of other notes and letters, I wondered if I really and truly felt the love and appreciation...I question if I took it for granted then. I hope I didn't, but I have to wonder so many years later, that perhaps I did.

As I unpacked my Edification Box (two side-notes: 1. EVERYONE should have an Edification Box to recall how loved and appreciated they are, especially on your bad days; 2. really, it's just a shoe box--I'd suggest decorating it to make it even more special), I laughed, I became pensive, I grew sad. Really and truly, we had some AMAZING times in the dorms (my dorm-door decoration folder is proof of that)...I was humbled at how people described me as kind, funny, talented and expressed their care for me...and I wondered if I ever showed all those people that I cared about them like they cared for me. If I didn't, I apologize from the depth of my heart.

I'd like to think that all these years later, I can still be described with same words, with a touch of maturity along with a heart that strives to truly follow God. I want to believe that I can have just as much fun in my life post-college. And all of this makes me want to dive into the lost art of letter-writing and note-sending and card-signing...because there's something so special in knowing that someone took the time to sit down and really think about you and show their love for you.

So to whoever is reading this today, in the same manner that I felt this past weekend, I want you to know that I love you--I'm thrilled that you would take the time to read my blog but I appreciate you for who you are, and I hope you know that and understand that and truly comprehend that and take that with you in every step of every day and throughout your life. But beyond that, I want you to know that my care for you is completely surpassed by the love of the Father--who loves us in tremendous ways that we will never be able to truly know.

"I know I am loved by the King...and it makes my heart want to sing."

P.S. I think this song encompasses what I'm trying to say as well--it's an AMAZING song by an exceptional singer. Hope you enjoy it.