When I started writing this, my goal was to come up with something that I could publish as a column for work. A bit too personal for that particular audience, so thankfully I can share it with all of you!
Fall. Autumn. Whatever you call it, it's that season--that ever, so-short season--that leaves as quickly as it comes in West Texas.
When I lived in Springfield, Missouri as a Bible college student, the Texas kids would eat it all up and enjoy the changing of the leaves in their deep-hued glory. The crunch of the leaves were a sweet sound to my ears, and I was so enamored with it as a college freshman that I start collecting the large pretty leaves and began placing them on the bunk above mine and made a cute fall display. My roommate questioned what I was doing, and I even remember her making a reference to a Full House episode, and to this day I really have no clue what she was talking about. Blame it on my immaturity, since the following three falls I no longer collected the leaves. I adored them from afar.
That season is typically what I miss the most when I recall my years in Springfield. Because I didn't miss the fact that I had to wait until a visit home to enjoy Whataburger, or that I was 10 hours away from any relatives. But as much as I love fall, the rapid transformation that transitions into a cold season can sometimes be a picture of our own lives.
Prior to fall, the summer season brings about a carefree spirit, an awareness to live in the moment. This summer, I found myself embracing life--even if it was a bit frightful. God challenged my heart and mind and soul in so many ways that to not follow Him would have been foolishness (if not even sin). I literally dove in (I jumped several feet into a man-made lake at our church youth camp) to new adventures, new experiences, new ministries. That time was a "warm-up", if you will, for what would be taking place in the coming moments.
Fall ushered in a transition to put my money where my mouth was. Was I still willing to take part in these new challenges? Yes, yes I was. After preparation and anxiety and fear stepped into their respective places, I've been able to be used by God to fulfill His ministry. Were there challenges and bumps along the way? Yeah, just like with any other situation. But sometimes the bumps start to come closer together and change starts happening in a way that you always thought and fear would happen, and it shatters your world.
Like when your leadership is questioned.
Perhaps when that support you've always had tends to fall by the wayside.
Or when someone you know becomes blinded and falls into something that can damage their spiritual well-being.
And when these and other situations shake you to your core, and the battle lines are drawn, you find yourself alone. The wintry cold has left you forsaken, in solitude, and everything you've ever known is questioned.
Was the change worth it?
Was all of this supposed to happen?
How can I move on from this?
There might not be anyone else physically next to you (and that can be painful) but just as the buds of the flowers and leaves began to blossom, you'll find yourself in the midst of spring--a renewal, a rebirth. But I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that sometimes, that winter might be a bit longer than you expect. Or that the growth of springtime might be so short that the autumn atmosphere transitions into yet another period of change.
Am I currently in the midst of my fall-slash-winter season? Yep. And it's hard to be there, alone. But if I can bring to mind the other seasons--the ones that fill the heart with laughter and the mind with knowledge--and even more so the Creator of those seasons, I think there might be a way to overcome.
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